Book the 12th: The Fervid Flames
by Clairvoyant Neko
Summary: By the time the Baudelaires arrive at Hotel Denouement it is already engulfed in flames, however, Sunny finds a clipping from The Daily Punctilio, which leads the siblings to be believe the existence of another V.F.D. headquarters...
1. Disclaimer & Introduction

Book the 12th: The Fervid Flames

Disclaimer & Introduction

Characters used in The Fervid Flames belong to both Daniel Handler (Lemony Snicket) and HarperCollins Children's Books, a division of HarperCollins Publishers.

Dear Reader,

You have obviously come here by mistake, so please click the "x" on the right-hand side of your screen, or shut down your computer as a whole, because this story only tells the next chronicle in Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaires' woeful childhood and their dreadful journey to find the V.F.D. headquarters, which certifies as the vilest yet.

I can find no reason why anyone would take on the load of reading such affairs including a newspaper clipping, a Volunteer Factual Dispatch, a series of couplets, a message sealed in a horseradish factory, angry cheseemakers, and an avenue indwelling inside of a notorious villain's home.

It is my dismal pledge to explore every happening the Baudelaire siblings' lives and record them into this burdensome book; you however, should pledge yourself to reading less miserable tales.

With all due respect,

Lemony Snicket

* * *

Authors Notes:

I need to know what you think about it, so please read and review! Advice would be good, too. I would like to see what people would like to see in an ASOUE fan fiction.


	2. Dedication & Chapter One

Dedication & Chapter One

For Beatrice –

You shall live,

Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore.'

* * *

Chapter One

Perhaps, at least once in your life, you have attempted to read the back of a shampoo bottle, which is both difficult and pointless. Difficult, a word, which here means 'many disastrous meetings with the horrid Count Olaf' could also describe the lives of the three Baudelaire orphans: Violet Klaus and Sunny. Pointless, a word, which here means 'an attempt to read book ripe with misery and woe' could also describe your attempt to read a book ripe with misery and woe.

At the moment where this chronicle of the Baudelaires' lives take place, which is a particularly unpleasant one, Violet, Klaus and Sunny were sitting in the back seats of violet taxi, with a woman by the name of Kit Snicket, who was driving them through Briny Beach, which was rather gloomy that day, as it was the day when the Baudelaire parents had perished in a terrible fire.

Sunny, the youngest of the Baudelaire siblings, had an interest in biting, and if you have read my earlier installations in A Series of Unfortunate Events, which I certainly hope you haven't, you will know her hobby had helped both her and her siblings. Once, when the Baudelaires lived on a lumber mill, Sunny had engaged a sword and tooth fence with a man by the name of Dr. Orwell. However, recently, cooking had intrigued Sunny, and her knowledge of food had saved her life from a deadly fungus ona submarine dubbed The _Queequeg_.

Sunny was nearing the age where one no longer speaks ambiguous shrieks but cannot complete a full thought. For example, by, "Questions," she probably meant, "Us Baudelaires have many questions to ask you, Kit."

Violet and Klaus Baudelaire had, of course, lived with Sunny their whole lives, being the ages of twelve and fifteen, so they had learned to understand their younger sister's language, thus they were quick to translate.

"All answers will arrive in good time," answered Kit, "once we arrive at Hotel Denouement."

"This always seems to happen, though," whispered Klaus.

Klaus was a reader, or, perhaps, a researcher. He knew almost every word from aardvark to zyzzyva, because, in what seemed like many, many years ago, when the Baudelaire parents were still alive they owned an enormous library with a book on almost every subject, and Klaus' greatest pleasure came from spending hours learning more and more.

"I know," sighed Kit, "but there are things I don't even understand. We will meet much wiser volunteers at the hotel, so please wait until then."

"Quagmires," insisted Sunny, which probably meant, "Every time Isadora and Duncan would try to tell us the secrets of V.F.D. something like this would happen."

This time, Violet was the only one to translate.

Violet, the eldest Baudelaire, who had only recently turned the age of fifteen aboard The _Queequeg, _the submarine in which poor Sunny desperately clung onto her life before finding an antidote to the fungus' poison, was probably the most intelligent inventor of her age. Most of the time, she was focused on gears, pulleys, and leaver, and other sorts of mechanical items, but at the moment she was concentrating at the situation at hand.

"What Sunny means is every time we were on the brink of solving a mystery about V.F.D., The Sugar Bowl, or… our parents," she trailed off, "something or someone would interrupt us."

"To be perfectly honest," stated Kit, "There are reasons I can't tell you."

* * *

Memories are some of the most powerful forces in the universe. Even after years and years pass a memory can still back to haunt you, and as The Baudelaires drove by the ash and rubble, which was once their home they broke out into tears. 

"The world is quiet here," came the soothing voice of Kit Snicket and other verses to make up a stanza, but the Baudelaires were already half a sleep.

"The world is quiet here," yawned Klaus and drifted off into a deep slumber.

* * *

"**What happened here?"**

The Baudelaires awoke to the sound of Kit screaming and cursing, and as they opened their eyes they knew why. At the top of a colossal hotel was a charred sign, which read, "Hotel Denouement." However, the rest of the building was engulfed in bright, fervid flames.

"O must have arrived here before us!" shouted Kit.

O?" questioned Violet stepping out of the car, "do you mean Count Olaf?"

"It probably was Olaf," following suite of his sister and stepping out of the car, also cradling Sunny, "and his troupe of deformed testes."

"Not around Sunny," hissed Violet.

"Testes?" asked Sunny, which probably meant, "What does 'testes' mean?"

Luckily, before the Baudelaires had to explain anything, Kit Snicket walked over to them with a glum look clouding her face.

"You are no longer safe with menow, Baudelaires," she implied.

"But wh-," Violet half asked.

"If you meet anyone from V.F.D. tell them this: Lemony Snicket survived."

"Le-," Sunny started, but was cut off.

"I don't want any questions. All I can say is you must find The Fervid Flames," and with that Kit toward the violet taxi, stepped in, and drove off.

"What the h-," Klaus began, but this time was cut off by Sunny.

"Eureka," shrieked Sunny, which probably meant, "Look what I have found."

Klaus let his baby sister out from his grasp, and she walked ever so carefully to the fire until she grabbed something, crumpled it up in her tiny fist, and walked back towards her older siblings.

Violet took the crumpled paper from her sisters clutch, smoothed it out, and read:

"Experiencing hunger?

Why not dine

On dinner at

The diner

On Dark

**Veritable**

**French Diner**

141 Dark Avenue

Ask about a prix fixe

Pre-theatre dinner special

Until the theatre begins."

(The Unauthorized Autobiography page 79)

"V.F.D.," muttered Violet.

"It's from _The Daily Punctilio_," Klaus wandered aloud, "but here you can see this article was written by Lemony Snicket, so we might as well trust this."

"Schism," added Sunny, which probably meant, "But we don't know which side of the schism Lemony was on."

"It's the only lead we have, though, Sunny," Violet pointed out.

And although the Baudelaires expected this to finally be their happy ending it seemed every chapter in their lives lead to a never-ending series of unfortunate events.

* * *

Author's Notes: 

Wow, that took awhile. Remember, read and review!


	3. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

The grass is always greener on the other side is a phrase, which essentially means you an atrocious gardener, however, many appear to conclude it means you can find something better someplace elsewhere, but trespassing from your untidy lawn and into your neighbor's vineyard is illegal, so you are often abandoned among your withering flowerbeds.

This was precisely how the Baudelaires felt. The absolute only adult who could see them through their adverse circumstances had abandoned them, and they were stuck among their withering conditions.

"This is exactly what occurred at the V.F.D. headquarters located in Valley of Four Drafts," Klaus realized.

"What?" Violet and Sunny both chanted in unison.

"At the Valley of Four Drafts," Klaus began, "I found the poem we were in need of, however, the rest of the library was nothing but a pile of ash."

"Convenient," Sunny admitted, which probably meant, "Yes, that was a little to convenient."

"Oh! Cried Violet, "V.F.D. must have some sort of inflammable material."

"Yes," agreed Klaus, "and maybe it's no coincidence that we're finding them. Perhaps, we should check into the Veritable French Diner."

Violet stood motionless for a time, as if she were meditating on a stressful thought and finally whimpered, "Where's Quigley?"

The younger Baudelaires were both awestricken of this question, having not dwelled on the fact that Quigley had set to meet them at Hotel Denouement.

"Meet Dark Avenue," said Sunny, which probably meant, "If memory serves me correctly, Dark Avenue is located somewhat closely to our own home, and Hotel Denouement can't be too far away from the mansion, so if Quigley is at Veritable French Diner we may be able to catch up with him.

"That's true," agreed Klaus.

"Thanks, guys," hiccupped Violet, brushing a few small tears from her eyes.

* * *

Dark Avenue was quite a grandiose, a word which here means 'fancy', road. Almost every inhabitant of the street was concerned with what was 'in' and what was 'out', a phrase, which here means almost every inhabitant, was too uppish to give any concern to anything other than fashion. 

Dark Avenue had been the first neighborhood the Baudelaires had been relocated to after being expelled from Prufrock Preparatory School, a dreadful academy, and the incident following in which their close friends, the Quagmires, were kidnapped by Count Olaf. The stay at their new guardians', Jerome and Esmé, penthouse apartment had been both pleasant and unpleasant. Jerome had been very gracious, but often avoided arguments, which could have halted the Baudelaires' unfortunate lives, however, Esmé turned out being Olaf's spy and girlfriend.

I am telling you this, because, at this moment, the Baudelaire orphans stood outside the doorway of 141 Dark Avenue, the Veritable French Diner.

"Dark luck," shrieked Sunny, which probably meant, "We arrived at Dark Avenue in good timing. Once again, dark is in and light is out, so we weren't recognized by anyone."

Sunny meant two things in this statement. One, when the Baudelaires had first arrived on Dark Avenue it had been pitch black, meaning there was absolutely no light, except for the few candles, which lit the road with a flickering, dim, orange light, sending dancing shadows in vicinity of palely illuminated walls. Secondly, the three siblings were fugitives, having been falsely accused of murder, arson, and other crimes too dreadful to list.

"Yes," agreed Klaus, "but we may not be so lucky outside of Dark Avenue. Obviously, we can't expect the whole world to remain dim, so we may want to change our names."

"I'd love to be called Samantha," suggested Violet, "or Sammy for short. I've always adored the name."

"Jessica," piped Sunny.

"I'll be Shawn then," confirmed Klaus.

And with that Violet, now Sammy, placed her hand on the doorknob of the Veritable French Diner, however, rather than swinging open the door, a voice boomed out, "Password!"

"The world is quiet here," replied Klaus.

"No!" the voice called back.

"Wha-," Klaus began.

"Lemony Snicket," interrupted Sunny.

"Oh! Violet shouted, "Lemony Snicket survived."

The door of the Veritable French Diner swung open, revealing a middle-aged man with beaming smile clothing his face.

"Hello, Baudelaires," greeted the man, "my name is Johnny, and I've been expecting you for quite some time. You've received a Volunteer Factual Dispatch from a certain Quigley Quagmire. Also, it seems his siblings, Isadora and Duncan, have also left small notes. Come, I'll show you."

"Quigley!" cried Violet, "he's alive."

Johnny lead the Baudelaire orphans through a line of buffet tables of what appeared to be mounds upon mounds of amass French toast and through passageway labeled Very Fancy Door.

"Yes, I know you must have been shocked by all the French toast," laughed Johnny, "but, of course, this is more of a headquarters than a restaurant," he finished taking a slip of paper from a machine identical to the one owned by Captain Widdershins and read:

"Hello, Baudelaires! If you are reading this, apparently, you have found the Virtually inFlammable (The volunteers could think of nothing else.) Document. I assure you, especially Violet, that I'm safe and well, however, you must find The Fervid Flames.

Quigley

You may wander how we were able to descend from the self-sustaining hot air mobile home, but we have no time such matters. We are currently located at another respecting V.F.D. headquarters. My sister, Isadora, and I have decided to lead towards the legation using couplets, because if this note falls into to the corrupt hands… well, we don't want them to find us easily.

Duncan

_Look as far as the eye can see,_

_And you will find V.F.D._

Isadora"

And so the Baudelaires gazed open mouthed, because through the window, as far as the could see, was the microscopic shadow of Lousy Lane, the road which wound its way to Tedia, and the V.F.D. horseradish factory.

* * *

Author's Notes: 

I'm hoping you're finding my story more interesting. Well, anyway, read and review, as well!


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